Chanukah candles are wick-ed

I'm a slacker, I get it. But I did pass my board exams (all 12 of em) and I am now an Optician!

On with it then...

Charity Rant #2

Tis the season of love, compassion, peas on earth, goodwill to men and charities asking for donations left, right and center. In the malls we have the nerve-testing sounds of jingle bells being incessantly rung by good-deeders (my blog, my word) while singing off-key toned-deaf versions of whichever Christmas carol is in their head, drumming up donations for the Sally Ann; various food banks (including my synagogue) asking for non-perishable food items to be handed out to those who need; meals on wheels asking for more of my time because most of their volunteers are going to Florida; cashiers asking me if I would like to donate $1 to whomever they are supporting this season; and so on....

It's enough that my friends and nephews get a chunk of my hard earned non-existent Canadian pennies to appease them with gifts, never mind donating toys to children with Christmas wishes. With all this holiday bombardment, it can feel like there is no escape from it all. It almost seems like no one is in the spirit of giving. Well, all these volunteers are 'giving' their time to help collect cans, jingle bells and dole out scrambled eggs at the soup kitchen; but where are they the rest of the year? Why is it that people decide to help others once a year when they feel its necessary? Jews usually put in the extra effort before the high holy days because we are about to be judged, so might as well get in those extra brownie points. Most people tend to feel a little more generous around Thanksgiving and Christmas because as we are grateful for what we have, we are supposed to think about those who aren't as fortunate.

Wait a minute! Hold the phone! Stop the presses! Don't food banks need canned goods all year round? Does the Salvation Army only collect once a year? Do soup kitchens and homeless shelters really run 365 days a year? The answer is 'duh'. Or is it 42?

We should be in the spirit of tzedakah all the time, not just during a commercial holiday or when it suits us. Yes, we have our collections of pushka boxes in our homes, but sometimes holding a door for someone or listening to an ex-marine talk about the good ole days can have more impact than a coin in a box or spending 2 hours a year sorting through canned beans and dried pasta. Why do we need an excuse to do a mitzvah?  Happy Tuesday, go help your neighbour. The sun is shining, how about carring someone's grocery bags; you woke up today, volunteer at the senior's home...have I made my point yet?

So amidst all this holiday revelry, gift giving, latka eating and charity donating, there is a small group of people doing their best to give and not receive, while reminding us of who we are and our duty as Jews; the Chabad Lubavitchers. To some, they are as annoying as a door-knocking-white-smiled-crew-cut-happy-go-lucky G-d fearing Mormon, but to others, they are a joy to see. They are standing on street corners or outside grocery stores, going door to door in apartment buildings, driving around town in a 'mitzvot tank' blasting holiday klezmer music, and asking people 3 simple questions;

1. Are you Jewish?
2. Do you have a menorah?
3. Do you have candles?

If you are not Jewish, they ask if you are aware that it's Chanukah and may share its story, if you do not have a menorah they will give you one and if you need candles, you are given a box. They do not preach, they do not try to convert, they do not harass - they simply want everyone to celebrate the joy of our holiday. Although my little sister was convinced they were stalking her and found them bothersome, I think its endearing and thoughtful that they will give to anyone who wants to celebrate and they ask for nothing in return. Not even a dollar. So what's with all the hubub, bub? By simply lighting our candles, we are remembering our history of how we survived and the miracles G-d gave us. How's that for a donation?

I heard a rabbi say that it is our job (as Jews) to add light and to spread light into the world. With all the terrorism and hatred we are hearing about every day, it seems that we are surrounded by a lot of darkness. By simply lighting our candles, we are showing that we are Jews, we are proud of who we are and will always shine and survive the darkness. Revi G spoke about "having strong, empathetic community responses..supporting Jewish organizations.. and expanding our culture.." during his first sermon on Yom Kippur. So why not give a menorah to someone who doesn't have one? Why not invite someone to share a Shabbat with your family? Jews are obligated to do mitzvot and tzedakah every day, so why not take up the attitude that we want to do it instead of we have to do it.

After all, wouldn't it be great if all the food banks, soup kitchens, seniors organizations and salvation army coin boxes of the world would never have to campaign because they had enough money and volunteers to give to those who need their services? It would be even better if no one needed to use their services, but until that happens we need to do our part, and not just once a year. Be a candle for your family and be an example - and perhaps more candles will be lit, and the world will be a brighter place. And G-d bless us everyone.

This rant has been brought to you by the letter 'C' and the number '7'


baby steps...

*UPDATE : kosher meals on wheels made and delivered over 125,000 meals in 2015!!! wow.

Let's talk about sects

Well, another holiday season has come and gone. I prayed, I sang, was judged, asked for forgiveness, heard the shofar, touched the Torah scrolls (not code for anything), prayed at the ark, watched others fast, dipped my apples (again, not code), lit the candles, remembered the departed, threw a stone, turned another year older, finished the alphabet and supped in a sukkah.

So, lads and lassies, what have I learned from all this eating, praying and loving? Despite all the constant talking and socializing around me, Shul is not so torturous, especially when I can follow along in the siddur; you don't get the honour of opening/closing the ark if you are sitting alone; it's a little tacky to mention politics in a sermon; never wear heals to service; we eat way too many carbs; talking about eyeballs at the dining table is not for everyone; King David wine is not a consumable beverage; I throw a stone like a girl; eating in a sukkah is kinda cool, and I need to lose at least 10 pounds to fit back into my pants.

Most importantly, I discovered that many people were in the same situation as myself in regards to obtaining a ticket to attend services and they all end up at Chabad. The reason many people go there (or other Orthodox synagogues) is that they are free or have a minimal charge or donation, opposed to the $200+ that others charge per ticket. Some even charge on top of the membership fees. On the other hand, it does make sense, especially when most congregants only come for one day and stay for (maybe) an hour – even the RD mentioned the short yet brief attendances (or lack thereof) in one of his sermons. I’m all for a pay-what-you-can system, or for those who are clocking their time, enforce metered seating and charge by the hour. As long as we make an appearance, no matter how brief, that's all that matters, right?

Just to drive my point home, allow me to pose a question; if you were to spend $400 for 2 tickets to a theatre show, would you leave 45 minutes into it because you were bored and weren’t enjoying it? NO! Of course you wouldn’t; you would say that between the cost, the effort of getting dressed, driving to the theatre and parking, it would be a complete waste so you were staying until the end – no matter what. So what's the big deal if you stay longer than an hour at Shul? You already took the day off of work and your family's luncheon starts after 1pm anyway. Or, why don't you scalp or give your ticket to someone who actually wants to be there instead of your one-hour-once-a-year cameo? Must be nice to have a disposable income. End of that rant.

 

So how do you start the new year off right? By going on a hot date with a cool rabbi! Technically, it was a meeting (not a date) that I booked with Revi G a month ago and he wanted to go for a walk during my allotted time, but potato/potahto. Besides, considering my waist's recent expansion, I needed the exercise, and it's nice to talk to a man who thinks on and with his feet opposed to a different body part. We talked about the different sects of Judaism, why there were so many and the differences between them. According to the list I had compiled, I was up to 27 and had learned a new one that morning; Charedi Light - which is like regular Charedi, but with half of the calories, and less trembling. After much explaining and a few "I really don't know"s thrown in the mix, the end result was him telling me to stop with the research. Alrighty then.

So onto the random question portion of the show. He allowed me to ask him whatever I wanted and he answered them honestly and as best as he could. We discussed shtetls and women's role in the synagogue, the duty of minyans, musical references and even a traffic lesson thrown in for good measure. All in all I would say that it was a great non-date date. I learned, we laughed, my butt had some exercise, and he didn't off me in the forest and leave my corpse for the coyotes. Even if he did, I was recording the conversation so there would have been 'evidence'.

Aside from that, I finished learning the Hebrew alphabet and we (P in T and I) are onto lesson #2, whatever that is. I still want to master making and braiding challah, writing Hebrew, and perhaps taking a class or two. We'll see what happens. In the mean time, I have a licensing exam to study for so I am going back to the books for a study-cation. Leshanah Tovah!

Baby steps..

 

 

 

 

 

One of these things is NOT like the other

As I journey into the worm-holed vortex of Judaism, I am trying to understand why there are so many branches on the same tree. As far as my knowledge of Jewish sects (not sex, THAT is another blog altogether), I know of the following streams;

1. Reconstructionist - Jews hanging out, going for coffee
2. Humanistic - which is as close to Christianity as a Jew will get without stepping foot into a church.
3. Reform - which is like a loose version of Conservative, but with more guitars and music.
4. Conservative - the norm, average, can wear pants and do as we please.
5. Conservadox - little more strict with the kosher, skirts at Shul, few more rules observed.
6. Orthodox - Self explanatory.
7. Modern Orthodox - same as original, more technology and more tolerate of secular society.
8. Ultra Orthodox/Chassidic/Lubavitch - a.k.a. Black hats. Again, self explanatory. black n white, wigs, lots of kids.
9. Bobov - as close to God as you're gonna get. Super duper pooper religious.

And here I thought Christians were lifted and separated. But wait! There's more. Let me throw in a few extra buds on the branches, just for kicks; Sephardic, Ashkenazi, Dati, Hiloni, Satmar, Chabad, Litvish, Breslover, Frum...I could go on, but it's too much work and I can't be bothered. What is my point with all this? Good question. If Judaism is based on the concept of monotheism, accepts that all people are equal in God's eyes, no one is superior to another and we all have equal dignity, then why can't we all just get along? Never mind that, why the heck are there so many streams of Judaism? Even within the Orthodox movement, there are various levels and types of observances. There are so many levels within the levels, it makes the CN Tower look like a duplex.

It seems that Orthodox Jews (I'm corralling them all here for a point) don't see eye-to-eye with the non-Orthodox Jews (again, corralling) because they do not agree with the way they dress, follow the laws of kashrut or halachah, raise their children, or how often they go to synagogue. On the other hand, non-Orthodox Jews don't see eye-to-eye with Orthodox Jews because they do not agree with the way they dress, follow the laws of kashrut or halachah, raise their children, or how often they go to synagogue. If you don't live or conduct yourself the way I do, or I don't agree with your life choices, then your way is the wrong way and you cannot convince me otherwise or change my opinion. There is no happy middle ground when it comes to the different denominations (or lack, thereof) of Judaism. Why do we have to have a 'my way or the highway' attitude? This stubborn, ignorant style of linear thinking is for the birds and perhaps we need to agree to disagree instead of disregarding the other person. Or get a bird feeder.

As I trudge on with my Jewventures, I am looking forward to the upcoming days of awe and the yearly pity-vites from friends, family and whomever else feels sorry for me and my singleness by extending various dining offers in my direction. This I am used to. So I was quite stumped when I was disinvited to a Rosh Hashanah meal for 'not being religious enough' – yes, you read it correctly. Just for the record, I have been asked to leave several coffee shops, one or two restaurants, and quite a few parties and homes for overstaying my welcome and/or being too loud, but I have never had a dinner invitation rescinded. Because I am not orthodox, I am not permitted to dine with my P in T and her family on Shabbat or Yom Tov because I need to drive myself home so I can attend Shul the next morning for services. Despite the offer to stay the night I must still break a rule and drive. I'm okay with this, but they are not as they follow the laws of halachah more strictly than I do. It seems that the sin of driving on Yontif or Shabbat supersedes the mitzvah of going to Shul – ‘splain that one to me, Lucy!

The only way for me to wrap my noodle around this is to conclude that although she may 'understand' my lifestyle and conservative ways (oh, the horror) she does not, and perhaps will not accept it. Am I mad? No. Little insulted, not surprised, should have known better, wish people were more flexible, but that's the way the matzo crumbles. In most conservative synagogues, the Rabbis are okay with a person driving on the Sabbath, as long as they are going to shul -  as they would rather you break a commandment than not show up to pray. This is one of those situations where it would have been best to not have extended the invitation in the first place. That's okay, I've had 2 more supper invitations for that night, so all is well in the land of brisket.

On the flip-side to this charming anecdote, a friend of mine was referred to as being "too Jewish" by her brother-in-law. Considering that she is not orthodox, does NOT keep a kosher home or attends shul on any kind of semi-regular basis, I am dumbfounded as to why she was given the honor of this title. How can someone who is married to a Jewish woman (he is not) and have a Jewish child make such a comment? It doesn't even matter what the reasoning behind it is, because the words outweigh the meaning; ironically, by his same standards, I must be half a step away from an arranged marriage and doing a half-pike swan dive into the nearest mikvah - NO SPLASH!

"The important thing is not how many separate commandments we obey, but the spirit in which we obey them" - Baal Shem Tov

baby steps...

It was easier to get tickets to Elton John

Well it’s that time of year again for the obligatory attendance at Shul for the high holy days. For most Jews, this is the only time of year that they are at services; others may also come for Kaddish, but for the most part, just these few days.

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year’s celebration where apples and honey are a-plenty, we eat too much, and hear the shofar! With the addition of Yom Kippur; we fast, ask that our sins are forgiven, honor and remember those who have passed, clear up loans, perform extra mitzvot, and start anew with a clean slate. We are being judged, after all. More importantly, we get our hair, nails and makeup done, buy (at least) 2 new outfits with matching shoes, and make sure we look fabulous when we are `seen` at synagogue. After all, NO ONE wants to be in the same designer outfit (with matching hat?) that they wore to temple last year. Really!

It is almost as exciting as sitting at the Ritz Carlton during the Toronto International Film Festival waiting to see who will show up, and with whom. The who’s who of the Jewish community arrive in all their Chanel splendor; like peacocks with hats, pressed garments, botoxed forheads and shiny patented leather shoes, making sure that none of us common folk are sitting in their reserved seats. And much like an arts festival, there are billboards and media signs all over the place letting you know that tickets are ‘on sale now’ and to 'get yours early before it's sold out'. What is this? Cirque Du Soliel? I love religion; Mormons have portable leaflet stands, Evangelists have television and 1-800 numbers, and Jews have sandwich boards! Got an app for that too?

As a retired theatre technician, I know a bit about ticket selling and acquiring. No matter what, there are ALWAYS last-minute ticket deals and people who know people that can get you in. So imagine my ____________(insert appropriate word here; horror, chagrin, surprise, shock, disappointment, frustration, incomprehension, etc.) when I quickly found out the task that was before me; trying to get A (as in one, single, individual, only) ticket for myself for as close to free as I can get. Please remember I am in the process of completing my courses and now have to shell out $1600 to write an exam, so spending $200 to attend Shul is a lot of money to me right now. So with many phone calls, texts and favors asked, this is what I got;

Roadblock #1 – You have to be a member of the synagogue in order for you to get a ticket. No ‘outsiders’ allowed. Huh?

Roadblock #2 – Even though my father is on the board of directors, he cannot get you a ticket. Sorry. Okay..

Roadblock #3 – Only those who are attending services may volunteer as an usher because they are already here. No, you aren’t allowed to help out because you aren’t a member or have a ticket. What the what?

Roadblock #4 – Sure you can come to Chabad for free, but you will have to stand at the back of the room with everyone else. Sounds cozy.

Roadblock #5 – For $35, you can attend a lecture/seminar. It’s not a real service, but you are welcome to come. Alrighty then.

Can ANYONE feel my frustration? Anyone? Bueller?

My P in T asked me the other day if I ever had a problem, could I go to my Rabbi and talk to him about it? I said I didn't know, but I am always up for a challenge. So, with this in mind, I approached Revi G and asked if  he could recommend a synagogue that I could go to for services (aside from Chabad). Why? Because I am a poor, single student who is spending the last of her savings on an exam and cannot afford to pay. Humiliating enough? He said to leave it with him, and he would work on it and talk to a few people, then we will talk 'offline' about it. Ironically, I contacted him online to talk offline and he replied online to talk offline about what was said online. Got it? The end result is that he arranged for the Shul to allow me a ticket. I may have to sit with the livestock, clean the loos, work the coat check or wash his car, but I have a golden ticket and I'm off to the chocolate factory! THANK YOU, REVI G!!

So, am I telling you to harass your Rabbi for a comp? No. I am very fortunate that my Rabbi knows me, and that I am sincere, attend services on a regular basis, and that I actually want to be there. I also have to put up with his puns every week, but that is something else. Technically, I didn't ask him for a freebee, but that just happened to be the end result. He decided to do something nice for one of his congregants and did his big mitzvah before the holidays. Or, he just took pity on me, whatever works I suppose. I'm still honored and grateful.

People keep telling me that a Shul cannot turn you away, or try to negotiate with them and say what you can afford to pay. Well I am not willing to show up the day of and seeing what happens, nor am I going to beg and humiliate myself further - I've already asked for a 'student discount' on a membership, and was turned down. Look, I understand the concept of memberships and ticket sales - again, former theatre tech here, and that this is the time of year when synagogues make their money because people do not want to fork out the $1000+ to attend services a few times a year. But when a person calls up and says they want to be there, but needs a little help with the money situation, the Shul should be a little more accommodating - I did offer to usher as a barter. All I'm saying.

So with this hullabaloo behind me (I'll feel better with ticket in hand), I now need to press my dress, cut my hair, do my nails, match my shoes and wear the right accessories. Next year I will be able to purchase my ticket and buy that new outfit..with a matching hat, of course!

baby steps..

 

I hear the 'Pocket Jew' is all the rage

I would like to give a shout out to M and my P in T Amy – this one’s for you. Literally.

One of the first things I did when I began this journey was go to the library. There, I went to the religion section and took out a small stack of books to get me started. You may not be surprised as to how many books there are about Judaism, Jewish lifestyle, cooking, etc. In the back of the first book was a listing of websites of various Jewish organizations to further one’s questions and curiosities, one of which was an organization that pairs people with Torah partners. They match you with someone of a similar age and sex in your city to either meet in person or talk on the phone to discuss whatever you want to talk about in relation to Judaism (of course). After a telephone interview to find out what I would like to discuss, I am asked what is it that I am interested in learning? EVERYTHING! Is that too much? I hope you have someone to help me with this.  After a month of impatiently waiting (and a follow up phone call) they found me a tutor. Enter Amy *taaa daaa*.

My P in T (partner in Torah) Amy is a petite, frummy mummy with a smile that's infectious and a laugh to adore. A Sephardic woman (shtetl and all) who has agreed to take on the challenge of intentionally putting up with me and my inquisitive mind, poor thing. She insists that she isn't a teacher and not sure if she could give me Hebrew lessons. I beg to differ. First of all, she used to teach English; second, I say that if you know something that I do not and you are willing to help me learn about it, than THAT makes you a teacher. To further drive my point home, Merriam Webster defines teacher as 'a person who passes along information or skill'. Can't argue with that, so on with the show.

We are starting off semi-slowly teaching me to read and write Hebrew, although she insists I put off the writing for now. She constantly reminds me of what a mitzvah it is to learn Hebrew and study Torah, and I constantly remind her how I’m filling my time doing something I enjoy and want to do for myself. Potato, potahto, I suppose. The greatest surprise of all is that we are BOTH learning as we go. If there is a question that she does not know the answer to, she jots it down and gets back to me with the answer, providing her rabbi actually gives her one. I think the master is becoming the student, grasshopper. Now go paint the fence!

So when I went to Shul this past Saturday night, imagine my excitement when I was able to muddle through a few of the brachahs! Yay me! I got such a thrill that the ants in my pants were doing the Macarena. I kept asking M questions about words and pronunciations and I didn’t want to put down my siddur. Unfortunately when it was time for Kiddush, M and Revi G rather I sat in the dining room with everyone else opposed to sitting by myself and reading. Party poopers. For the first time since I have started to go to Shul, I really enjoyed it. More like I enjoyed following the text, but you get the picture. The funny thing is that as I'm reading, I have even more questions about texts, transliterations and pronunciations. Poor Amy. Now there's even more questions to not get answered adequately. So with borrowed siddur in hand (thank you RD) I trudge on..

With the reading well under way, we are going full-steam ahead! Next week I am learning to make a large batch of challah and perhaps finish the alphabet. With the high holy days around the corner, I would like to be able to follow along in the siddur better, providing that the Rabbi isn't speed reading. There is a ton for me to learn and do, and we're just getting started. I am very lucky to have a few people to help me out along the way. I'm grateful to have my friend M help me at Shul and set me straight, and my P in T for helping me to read and fulfill yet another goal. It's great to have someone to turn to for help when you need it; it's one thing to open a book or peruse a website, but there is something more reassuring and definite in speaking to someone face-to-face. Especially when they actually want to help you.

I want the world (or at least the 6 people reading this) to know that I think that M and Amy are the cat's arse and the bee's knees! And as they read this (that's 2 of the 6 already) I can hear them smile and feel them blush. So in case I haven't said it to their faces already, thank you!  8)

I will conclude this week's rant with a riddle; how do you get a straight answer from a Rabbi?

You don’t.


baby steps..

 

 

 

My over-education has prevented me from getting married

It seems that I am being reminded more than usual of my current relationship status by my friends and well-wishers alike inquiring into my love life and sending me postings of get-togethers, religious rants and cutesy romance pics. I appreciate the concern and strategically well-placed bits of useless advice. Really, I do. But YES, I've been on J-Date; YES, I go to Shul; YES, I try to go to as many Jewish events as I can; YES, I've been on many a shidduch - thank you for putting these great ideas in my head cause it NEVER occurred to me to try these things out. Over the years I have spent a small fortune on dating websites and various Jew-Dos with few results, aside from meeting my brother in law (prior to meeting my sister) at a lock and key party and meeting my X through a dating website. Despite 5+ years and a short engagement later, I’m still checking the ‘single’ option on my tax return. As Gina would say “you have to kiss a lot of frogs”- which is usually used in reference to choosing glasses, but it works well in this scenario. Regardless, I think I have a wart.

A friend of mine inadvertently sent me a blog posting the other day talking about what is considered  to be one of the happiest days of the year; the 15^th of Av which is the day that we celebrate love and matchmaking. The article tells of how back in the day, the daughters of Jerusalem would wear borrowed clothes and dance in the vineyards to try and catch the eye of any single man who may be looking for a bride. This being 2015, I need to modernize this concept. I could borrow my sister’s dress and go do the chicken dance in the liquor store as I live in Toronto and the closest vineyard would be at least a 2-3 hour drive away. Would this get me a date? Perhaps with a security guard or an orderly at the local psych ward. As much as I love my friend, the article didn’t do much for me or my ego.

If this was not bad enough, a few days later Revi G talked about it at shul. He spoke of the dancing daughters and how it’s a mitzvah to help us single folk. 'We need to think about our single friends and see how we can help them meet someone; invite them for Shabbat or help make a shidduch'. I noticed how he avoided eye contact with me while he spoke. I am the 'young' single woman of the group, after all.

It is said that God determines one’s soul mate 40 days before conception. That is some wacky pre-planning, especially when one may not even be a thought or consideration to their future parents at that time. Either way, if I do my math and calculate correctly, the 40 days + conception + pregnancy + 40 years (converting the day-to-year factor by x10 and cross multiply the fractions) then I am right on track and should be meeting my bashert ANY time now! Can you tell I achieved an A+ in math? The problem is that God may know who my soul mate is, but I don't. Like most people, we know what we like in the opposite sex and from experience, we know what we don't want. Our soul mate is exactly that; the other half of your soul, the missing part of your very being.

I recently read a great piece of advice on trying to decide if the person you are dating is the right one to marry. It said to take a piece of paper and make 3 columns and list them as ‘must haves’, ‘important to have’ and ‘bonuses’. Under each column it suggests to put as many items as you wish as this is supposed to be what one is seeking in their bashert. For example, under the first I put “makes me laugh and Jewish”, under the second I put “loves dogs” and “can cook” and under the last I put “tall and nerdy”. Yes, the geekier and lankier the better - but it doesn't mean that is who I will end up with. There really isn’t a right or wrong trait as this is what we are attracted to and our heart desires - and to see how many of these traits our prospective mates have. It is a good exercise to do, and when someone asks what you are looking for in a man/woman, we can refer back to the list. By the by, if I were Wiccan, the paper would have been set ablaze and the ashes buried. Whatever helps I say.

The problem is that we put too much pressure on ourselves and what we want from others. We have to lose those few pounds, do our hair and makeup, wear the right outfit and say the right things. Don't want to offend, or scare someone off. Don't talk about this or that, say that you love everything, and will go anywhere. Or, many people are alone because their list of 'must haves' is so long, there isn't any room for anything else. I read dating profiles and many men my age all want to meet a woman who is half their age, athletic and works out 6 days a week, cooks, cleans, religious, pious and can balance a plate on a pole on their nose while hula-hooping and braiding a challah. Can't YOU do all that?

Aside from the constant reminders of my singleness this week, one of the inspirations of this blog is the lack-of-dating theory someone told me the other day. She said that the reason for her being single and men not wanting do date her was what she referred to as “her three O’s”; she is overweight, overeducated and over-aged. I said with an attitude like that, I wouldn’t want to date you either. I think the O’s should have been overbearing, overly-annoying and over-negative. I wouldn’t say that being in one’s 40’s or 50’s is old, I was never a waif and always had a boyfriend or a date; I have spent 8 years of my adult life earning a degree (technically two) and a diploma and I am constantly wanting to expand my education and currently learning Hebrew and a hint of Russian. I love learning new things every day. How can a person possibly be over educated to the point that it is unattractive to the opposite sex? I knew there was a reason I wasn't married. Now I know. Please remember this is NOT a friend of mine, but an acquaintance of an acquaintance.

Yes, physical attraction is a factor in every relationship, but if a person has a lousy attitude and/or lack of confidence, they will come off as unattractive and will turn people off. No one is perfect, and I’ve only met one person who face and ears are symmetrical. It is our idiosyncrasies and imperfections that make who we are and if there is something that you do not like about yourself, then do something about it. It’s a matter of waiting to find someone who appreciates your quirks and adores you just the way you are.

A rabbi said that we need to explore our religion and like our lives and who we are first before looking for our bashert. Pray for others in the same situation as you, so you may receive the blessing first as well a your friend; do a mitzvah so that you will merit the blessing of finding your soul mate; put your faith and heart in God's hands and trust that His timing is always right. In the mean time, please stop kvetching to me cause I don't wanna hear it.

Baby steps..

 

 

Tikkun Olam- Repairing the world one chicken breast at a time

A.k.a. charity rant #1

 I just wrote my last 2 exams (of 8) and I am finally DONE school -  so now I can focus on the blog. Good to be back.

It seems that I can’t go anywhere without someone wanting to alleviate my burdened purse of any loose change that may be hiding within its many inside folds and pockets. Whether I am buying a coffee, grocery shopping, picking up the dry cleaning or going to the pharmacy; charity boxes are on every counter, cashiers ask if I would like to make a donation to something or a pan-handler is asking for change. Heck, even when I purchased my ‘dog repellent’ a portion of the sale went to the breast cancer society. Seriously. As much as I appreciate the good intention behind it, one can only be bombarded so much before it becomes too much and you want to give to no one.

Many families keep pushke boxes in the home to teach their children to give to others, usually to their synagogue. We were taught to help those in need and give where and when we can, whether it’s a few dimes in the box, canned goods to the food bank, or buying a pizza slice at school to help raise money for whatever. But is giving a few coins here and there, making a monthly donation, supporting a child in need or writing a massive cheque enough? Is a shiny new wing of a building or a new park really healing the world? Do we need to build another school or just try to fix up the existing ones? Are we giving because we are told that it is the right thing to do, that as Jews we should and have to, or are we giving because we truly want to? Either way, you can’t beat that tax receipt. Right?

Many synagogues have tikkun olam programs where they choose a charity or project that they are raising money for with the intention of bringing together the congregants to perform their duty of giving to others in order to heal the world. Traditionally, the act of tzedakah says that Jews are supposed to give 10% of their income to charity or whatever they can give. If you were to look around our Jewish neighbourhoods  you will see all the benefactor’s names who have given their share (or more) on the sides of buildings, busses, ambulances, benches, halls, trees, plaques and walls of various materials – this by the way, drives me nuts. Why does one have such a need of recognitions that they advertise their name in large font letters for anyone walking by to see? Thank you should be enough, but I digress..

Maimonides said there are 8 levels of giving tzedakah, with consideration that the needy receive the contributions in the most respectful and least shameful way possible;

1.       Giving grudgingly, or with regret

2.       Giving less than one should, put pleasantly

3.       Giving what one should, but on request

4.       Giving before one is asked – reducing one’s shame of having to ask for help

5.       Giving without knowing the recipient, although the recipient knows who you are

6.       Giving without making known that you are the giver

7.       Giving when neither you nor the recipient know each other’s identities

8.       Helping someone to become self-supporting through a gift, loan or finding employment

I can honestly say that I have touched every one of these levels at one time or another. Giving doesn't always mean you are a generous or good person.  A man can write a $20,000 cheque or give someone a job and still be a self-centered arse. Nothing to be admired. I’ve given to Tim Horton’s charity lots of times but never saw their camp or been to one of their hockey games. I’ve given pan-handlers change but never asked what they will do with it and I’ve given to the cancer society not knowing if any of my money went to the patients or administrative costs. We give without thinking or knowing, just assuming its going to the right place and we did the right thing. On with our lives!

Three years ago I purchased a car so I could go from work to school to home without taking the bus late at night. Her name is Kitty Boo. I also made a promise that when I could, I would volunteer myself and Kitty to Meals on Wheels. Now that school is (finally) over, I have joined the ranks and will be given my own route next week. My recipients are seniors with various ailments who need this service to survive. They have limited mobility, income and pantry items. Some are Holocaust survivors and have seen the absolute worst of the worst that I cannot and would not want to ever imagine. At the very least, I can bring them their dinner, make a little small talk and I hope to be able to share some of their stories in the future. I am doing this purely for selfish reasons - it’s my car, my time and I don’t need anyone’s permission to do it! I am helping because I can, it keeps me busy and they need volunteers.

Tzedakah doesn’t always have to be about money. The world can be healed with words, kindness and actions. Instead of donating to the food bank, GO and help to sort the cans. Instead of giving to a charity, volunteer for them. Heck, say good morning to a stranger or your neighbour because you just might make their day a little nicer. It’s our duty as Jews and as human beings. God gave us this world and everything in it, it’s our job to take care of it and frankly, it needs a little dusting.

Baby steps..

 

 

 

The Talmud says not to tease the fat kid

It is amazing what we choose to remember and what stays with us through life. The cantor once mentioned that a friend of mine used to tease him in high school. Almost 30 years later, this still didn’t sit well with him. Now that we are no longer dating, I mentioned this to my friend. I said that I heard he was a bully and teased * *.  My friend’s response to this was “I don’t even know who that is”. Wow. What clearly was a traumatic experience for one person was nothing but another day to another. What one person cannot remember, the other cannot forget. Words can truly affect us, both good and bad. Just as praise can boost our egos and make us feel special, insults can destroy us.

I recently paid my sister a compliment by telling her the chicken she served for supper was “the best she’s ever made”. I really meant it. A few weeks later, I was surprised to find out that she had taken my praise as an insult. A backhanded compliment if you will. Wha?? Her thinking was if I thought the meal she served me was the ‘best’, did that mean that every other chicken dish she had served me was awful? This one comment I had made stayed with her and bothered her. Last time I say anything out loud about her cooking..to her face.

My communications teacher said that our first response to other’s actions (or lack thereof) is usually a negative one. It’s human nature, it’s the way we tick. If someone does not call us, we have a million negative reasons running through our heads – are they mad at me? Did they forget? Did I say something to upset them? All negative. When we are dishonoring people, we only think of the bad memories. When we speak of someone we no longer want to associate ourselves with, we usually insult them and put them down. Believe me, I usually have nothing nice to say about my X, so I choose to not talk about him. When we are honoring people, we always think about the good memories we have of them and sing their praises. A mean person can have good qualities about them, just as a nice person can have bad qualities about them. The question is how do we want to remember that person and how will we speak about them?

My mother used to say that (Jewish) people aren’t allowed to insult her or speak badly of her because she is a widow and that’s lashon hara. Imagine my surprise when I found out its true meaning. Lashon hara is destructive speech. Nothing to do with widows or single mothers. SHOCK! Not only is it a sin to speak bad about another person (whether the information is factual or not) but it is also forbidden to LISTEN or BELIEVE what that person is saying. If we are having an argument with someone, we aren’t allowed to insult them, even if they really ARE a putz. You can’t say it, just think it really loudly to yourself.

The Talmud says that evil gossip kills three; the one that says it, the one who listens, and the subject of the gossip. It’s even compared to murder and idol worship. Think about it, if a person is so hurt by what we say that it affects their self worth to the point that they carry it with them for years and start to believe that that is who they are, then you might as well have used a gun instead of words. When a person becomes insecure and cannot accept someone else liking them just the way they are because they are so used to being teased about this or that, you’ve ruined their chance for happiness.

My whole life I was fat. Cute, but fat. I was a fat kid, fat teen, even fatter young adult. At my heaviest, I weighed over 220 pounds and was a size 20-22. Was I teased? Does a Big Mac have 2 all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun? With a bit of sweat and tears (mostly tears) I now weigh 165 pounds, have one chin and wear a size 10-12. I still refer to myself as big or fat (usually in reference to my arse) and when I have a stomach ache, I rub my belly and say 'the twins are kickin'. I still want to shrink more and fit into the Calvins sitting in my closet without the muffin top. Most days I feel good about the way I look and there are days I feel like that 220 pound slob. No matter how much weight I lose or what I look like, there will always be someone who thinks I'm overweight and those negative remarks will always be there. I just need to tell them to bugger off.

We can't change what we have done or said in the past. If we teased someone, even in jest, apologize to them. If you know someone who was teased, apologize on behalf of the bully. Let them know how great they are, even if it makes them squirm. If you are upset with someone, write down your feelings instead of bad mouthing them to anyone who will listen. Besides, didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?

So, to anyone I have ever teased or insulted on purpose I apologise. Except for A., you really deserve it.  8)

 

Baby steps...

 

 

Happy Father's Day Mum!

God tells us to honor thy mother and father, so why do we wait until a birthday or holiday to celebrate their lives? I would like to think at I am doing a decent job at honoring my parents regularly. I say the Mourner’s Kaddish at Shul, I visit my mother every week and go to the grounds often. So as we celebrate Father’s day, I will pay homage to my parents.

My mother is the only father I’ve ever known. My father Leonard/Lenny passed away 38 years ago from Leukemia and my mother never remarried. She dated, was engaged, but never married again. She was both parents to my sister and I, and every year we acknowledge her on mother and fathers day. At first, we thought it was a funny joke and figured mum just wanted an excuse to have dessert and a present. After a while it just became the norm. After all, she did the job of 2 parents.

I don’t know what a father is supposed to teach or do for his daughter aside from 'staying away from boys' and 'finishing your homework'. They are the providers, bread winners, hunters, gatherers and protectors of their brood. My mum did all of this alone.

She put clothes on our bodies, food on the table (too much if you ask me and my thighs), kept a roof over our heads and provided us with both a Hebrew and day school education. She exposed us to the arts at a young age and always took us to ballets and pantomimes when she could. She would volunteer her time with various organizations in exchange for reduced rates on day camps, ballet, girl guides and brownies so we had activities. She went without so we could have.

If there was a school field trip, she was the volunteer parent. I still think it’s funny how all the kids called her mom. School always came first and if she didn’t like the curriculum or teacher, she let them know. Schooling is very important to her. She didn’t raise ‘dummies’.

My mother instilled many lessons in us. We needed to work hard for what we wanted, nothing comes easy, always try your best and if your hands and feet are working, you’re doing okay. No matter how awful you felt, there was someone worse off than you and we were to thank God for what we had. My favorite is still her theory that “a person cannot have both brains and common sense”.

Growing up in my single-parent home was not easy. My mum was a tough-arse and nothing was just given to my sister and I. A down side to being a sole supporter, she seemed to have taken on the masculine disciplinarian role more often than I liked. Someone had to (try) to keep me in line. She provided the necessities and anything else I wanted had to be earned by me – I have been working since I was 12 years old. As soon as I finished school and began working, I had to pay rent and help out more around the house (more???). Don’t like it? Move out!

When I was old enough, I became the ‘man of the house’. Anything that needed taking care of, I did. You name it, I could fix it. Painting, carpentry, electrical work, gardening or exterminating (so gross to toss a dead mouse) I did everything. These skills are great so I don’t have to rely on other people, but my ex didn’t like the fact that I was a better handyman than him. Oh well.

I can’t say that I miss having a father because I can’t remember having one in the first place. Over the years I would just call my friend’s fathers ‘dad’ and treat them as such. I know there is no substitute for your own, but a girl can dream. M. says it can be a blessing to have not known my father in case he turned out to be not a nice man. Daddy issues? Again, no comment without the presence of a licensed therapist.

My 7 year old nephew told me the other day that grandpa lives in his house and watches over him. I told him that he was very lucky to have an angel watching over him and I was jealous.

I would like to wish Mortimer, all the fathers, step-fathers, zaidas, sabas, uncles, mothers and whomever considers themselves a dad to someone, Happy Father’s Day!!

To my mummy, you are the BEST father a girl never had!

 RIP lady

..Baby steps...

A Miracle in Richmond Hill

My mother lives in a full-care nursing home and is in the final stage of Dementia. She cannot walk, feed herself or take care of herself in any way. She does not know what year it is, how old she is or what month her birthday is in. She knows who my sister and I are, even though she gets the two of us confused sometimes and can still give the occasional dirty look or snide remark to whomever she feels deserves it. Despite the weekly negative reports from the nurses and caregivers and the recent death sentence from Dr. Obvious (thanks captain), we keep on trucking. Nothing else we can do but to continue what we are already doing. Every week when I visit, she still surprizes me - whether it's eating all her food, remembering something, understanding what I am saying, or saying something sassy.

Today she blew me away. I wrote a draft of what was to be my next posting and I was going to mention the Shema. For those of you who do not know, the Shema is the daily prayer said in the morning and evening. It is the basic declaration of faith for every Jew. The first line is sung out loud and if you have EVER been to synagogue, you have heard it. Even I know the melody. Please see below.

 

                                                 Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai echad.
                                        (Hear,  O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.)

I asked my mother if she knew what a Shema was. She said it was when people get together for a meeting (something to that effect). When I asked her to explain what she meant, she proceeded to say the first line of the prayer (see above). My mouth was hanging. After what seemed to be a long pause, she then continued to say the rest of the prayer. IN HEBREW! I didn't even know she knew it. It had been years since she had been to Shul. We had only attended services on the high Holy days and here she had memorized the daily prayer.

Here is a woman who does not know what month it is and is lying there, eyes closed, barely moving her body, saying a prayer that I have yet to learn. Not only that, she repeated it two more times! I picked my jaw up from the floor and wiped away the tears from my eyes. I had just witnessed a miracle! For whatever reason, God gave me a huge gift today and it's not even my birthday. From now on when I hear the melody I will think about today.

Dementia is a horrible, stinking disease. It steals your loved ones from under your nose, in front of your face and it takes its dear, sweet time. You mourn the 'death' of their personality, character and essence before you mourn the death of their body. After every visit, I take away something positive - she ate all her food, gave a nurse a dirty look or I didn't have to take an Adavan (or two) etc.. Today my mother (and God) made me speechless, a rarity I am fully aware of. I was shaking my head in disbelief and grinning like the Cheshire cat. I sent many thanks out today. 

For those of you who regularly or occasionally kvetch about how your parents sill treat you like a kid, meddle in your life or just drive you bananas, I would like to let you know how lucky you are. I would give anything to know what my father's voice sounds like or to hear my mother go on about how mischievous I was as a child. Just once. If your parent(s) are cognitive, mobile, can do for themselves and can have a conversation with you, be grateful and thankful. Now go call your mother.

 

..Baby steps and an Adavan..

 

Theatre people vs. Film people

Society is made up of 2 kinds of people, film or theatre. I'll explain. My background is the arts and I am/was a techie. I started building theatre props (professionally) on my 16^th birthday and over the years I have worked on musicals (Phantom, Joseph, Showboat, etc.) live performances, television shows and movies in various capacities. I even turned down a gig with the CBC to work on the stage for the Pope’s visit. Yes, THE Pope. (Many of you reading this have contributed to my paycheques, so let me say thank you). 

A ‘film person’ is extremely friendly and will accept a stranger immediately. They invite you to sit with them, join them for lunch, assist you if they think you need it and help you get acquainted with your new surroundings. It’s a ‘let’s be friends, then I’ll get to know you’ feeling. Trust is assumed until you do or say something to break that trust. If I meet someone who works in film, I have an immediate bond with that person. We are instantly friends, telling tales and laughing.

A ‘theatre person’ is the polar opposite. They have to get to know you before they decide if they like you and that could take months or years. They sit in cliques and you are NOT asked to join them. They would rather sit in silence and ignore you, rather than make small talk. You need to earn their respect and trust first. They will never offer to help you unless you ask for it. No ‘instant’ friendships or bonding with them. Very stand-offish and cold.

Shul people are like theatre people. With the exception of M, the only welcoming people have been Revi G and the RD – and it’s their JOB to be nice and inviting to everyone. Every week I feel like I’m crashing the party, sitting at a table I was not invited to sit at. I am a fish out of water, and everyone is watching me drown instead of offering me a life jacket.  They are the bystanders that won’t help, but will watch to see what happens or record the event on their cell phones.

I have wrongfully assumed that ‘religious’ or ‘shul-attending’ people act and behave a certain way. This image started with the Cantor (he put on quite the façade) and for some reason, I continued to think this way even though he proved me wrong. I am usually the last person to judge a book by its cover. I always take people at face value and try my best to get to know them. So why am I thinking this way now?

I fantasized about how people would be kind and inviting, and attending services would be uplifting and joyous. Very little house on the prairie. Sabbath is a celebration and a time to enjoy each other’s company and thank G-d for all we have. I feel like I’ve been duped. I do my best to talk to people, read from the siddur and enjoy the experience of being there, but I find it very difficult to be joyous or happy. 

I feel humiliated, stupid and embarrassed every week because I can’t read Hebrew or follow along, or understand what Revi G is talking about half the time. But when no one says hello, or talks to me, or just stares at me, it makes me feel even more unwelcome, isolated and alone. Everyone knows everyone there. I understand that it will take some time before people get to know me, but it's been 5 weeks! On the other hand, it’s a good thing that no one pays attention so when I start crying it goes unnoticed. Perhaps I should shul hop and go to services somewhere else for a change.

I will end my negative rant on a positive note with a quote from Dr. Seuss

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go."

               

...Baby steps..

God wants me to shop at Ikea!

Is it WRONG to use kashrut laws as an excuse to shop for kitchen wares? Does one really NEED a reason to shop at Ikea? No, but it doesn't hurt.

Is a kosher home really a 'kosher' home if you don't have separate milk/meat dishes? What if I were to bring in a box of Ritz crackers? Most would say no. I would say that 99% of my groceries ARE kosher  (I do enjoy the occasional TNT almond or sunflower seed cookies) so food-wise I'm okay. However, I do not have 2 sets of dishes/cutlery/pots etc.. One reason is that the x got the 'dairy' dishes when we split up. The other reason is that I've never had a need for it. I don't really keep any dairy products in the house (except during the Chanukah/Xmas seasons when I go through 5-8 pounds of butter as I bake my fingers off).

I drink almond milk, rarely purchase pre-wrapped cheese which I throw in my lunch bag, yogurt is in a container, and should I buy ice cream in the summer, it's eaten right out of the tub....hey, I'm single and live alone - like YOU have never done that? The odd time I've had pizza was a take out slice on a paper plate, usually eaten in my car. Never thought twice about it but I guess it's like home insurance - it's good to have it, just in case.

And so it's off to Ikea!

Small plates, dinner plates, salad bowls, water glasses, coffee mugs, cutlery and holder. Should be enough, right? Oops, can't forget cooking utensils and holder, cutting board(s), knives, dish holder, cleaning rack.....SERIOUSLY?!? Looks like my list is growing. I guess I forgot how much 'stuff' I used to keep in my kitchen. Seems like a lot of things for 1 person to have in a kitchen with 2 drawers and cupboards. Oh my. This became very overwhelming very quickly. Too much too soon, so I decided to get just a few things. Dish set, cutting board and utensil holder (actually a flower pot). I'll do shopping trip #2 (and hopefully my last) on Sunday for the rest.

Out of protest, I'm gonna buy a wheel of (kosher) brie!

At the end of the day, it makes me feel good knowing I am making an effort. Keeping a kosher home is not such a big deal as I've done it before. I'm doing this because I want to, not because I'm supposed to. Fair enough? Fahrenheit!

Here's a pic of my booty (not bootaayyy) so far. Still need cutlery, green pan, a pot, and perhaps a Kiddush cup!

update: got the cutlery, bread knife, 3q pot, and Kiddush cup/dish. Bought the cheese and it was delish!

Baby steps...

The Kiddush Socialization Experiment

I was reminded recently of the different kinds of social groups there were in high school and how they viewed each other.

When I met the last guy I was dating, it turned out that through Jewish Geography - a.k.a. 6 degrees of me, we discovered we went to the same high school at the same time. However, we hung out with very different people, and were never friends. Despite this fact, I still recognized him from school (I'm pretty good with faces) but he did not know who I was. He did "hate" the people I hung out with despite not knowing any of us (I associated with some of the smokers. A habit I am glad to have tossed many years ago).

This got me thinking. How could he hate me and not even know me? He probably couldn't have picked me out of a police line up. But even though we weren't friends, I knew who he was and didn't hate him. Ironic?

So when I was at Shul and  the congregants sat for the end of Sabbath Kiddush, I noticed that everyone was sitting at one of two tables. One was the 'fun' table with most of the men, and the 'serious' table had the Rabbi and RD with one or two others. Week after week, same thing. Same people, exact same tables (take into consideration there are about 4 or 5 tables in the room). Last week someone made a comment how this is the way it always is, the `cool` table and the `riff-raff`. This didn't sit well with me either. This is synagogue, for crying in the mud.

Time for an experiment!

So this past Saturday, when everyone was getting their nibbles, I sat at a table by myself. There were one or two people at the other regular tables, but I decided to place myself in between the two and see what would happen...

Just as I thought, my buddy M sat beside me as he didn`t like me being by myself. To my delight and surprize, the RD sat with us! Our little table of three. We ate, we chatted, we joked. It was nice. No cool or not cool, serious/fun, it was just nice. Labels and cliques be damned!

I have always marched to my own drum, hung out with whomever I liked, dressed the way I wanted, etc.. I think they should just put the tables together and forget this segregation nonsense. Perhaps I`ll just stand next week. We`ll see. Either way, my experiment was a success.

Baby steps....

My Very First Blog....EVAH!

Well circle this day in the calendar cause I can't believe I am doing this!

So, welcome to my first ever blog. Back in the day this website would be a diary with a breakable lock. So much has changed...sigh..

This blog is about my adventures, celebrations and frustrations as I cannon-ball myself back into my Jewish faith and community.

A brief history...

When I was 10 years old, my mother told me I had to choose between having a Bat-Mitzvah and a sweet 16. I chose the latter (for reasons I will not talk about without a therapist handy) and regretted it the rest of my life. For financial reasons, we stopped going to Shul a few years later.

Over the years I've attended Seders, kept a kosher home, said my prayers at home (mum gave me a prayer book when I was 8 and I still have it) etc. but I always felt it wasn't enough. Something was missing.

Fast forward to a month ago...

Was dating a Cantor (apparently, I have a 'thing' for them as he was the second one I've gone out with) and thought he would be my ticket back into the club - so to speak. Before breaking up with me for the second time, he told me that I should focus on myself. He also said I was intimidating, hard to talk to and bossy, but I digress......

So after some thinking I thought he was right, I do need to focus on myself more. I also though "hey, I don't need him to get my arse back to Shul". And so it began. Three days later I got dressed and walked around the corner to the Synagogue and got up the courage to go to Saturday night services by myself.

Whadda trip! I walked in and passed the old guys staring at me as if to say 'poor thing is lost' and downstairs to where the services were held. There, I met the Rabbi (as I shall refer to as "Revi G" from now on) and his Hawaiian shirt. Still not sure if the shirt matches the man, or vise versa.

I noticed a sign for the Hall and  I asked him if it was named after Rabbi L. Turns out it was. Rabbi L. and his wife gave me my Hebrew names Batsheva Shemariah when I was a wee young lass. The Rebbetzin gave me the second name as she and my mother felt that I had the personality and the mouth to pull off two names. Just for the record, my Hebrew names have the initials BS...all I'm saying.

I took the sign as a sign. I was meant to be there in that synagogue. I survived the services, made a friend Morty (what? A Jewish man named Morty? unheard of!), turned down an Aliyah because I didn't know what it was and turned down covering the Torah because I didn't know how. Could I possibly stick out any more than I already did? Might as well have worn a clown costume. Point is, I didn't hate it. It wasn't bad and it did not discourage me. I've made a bigger arse of myself in the past, this was nothing.

And so the adventure began...

So for the last month, I have

• Attended services every Saturday night and a few evening services where I can 
• I am now onto my third book called "Jew got questions?"
• Finally put up my mezuzahs (one on my doorway, one in my car)
• Signed up to volunteer with Circle of Care
• Can say/write/read the first 2 letters of the Hebrew alphabet Aleph and Bet
• Looking into getting a tutor/mentor
• Thought about the Cantor - good and bad
• Did the walk for Israel - Go team Adler!

...and went back to school 2 weeks ago (Opticianry at Seneca). Can I BE any more busy?

Before I remove my eyes and hit the hay, I will share one more nugget. Tonight was a very big night for me. As I was following blindly in my Siddur (as I do every week), I happened to glance to the right side of the page where the words are in Hebrew (left is English). A word caught my eye. Israel. I RECOGNIZED IT! I couldn't tell you which letters were which, but I knew what that word was. I was so thrilled, I wanted to shout! Today I recognized a word. I even emailed Revi G and told him. I'm very proud of myself. Felt good. Hey, If I can figure out Advanced Applied Optics, I can learn an alphabet.

Baby steps......