Theatre people vs. Film people

Society is made up of 2 kinds of people, film or theatre. I'll explain. My background is the arts and I am/was a techie. I started building theatre props (professionally) on my 16^th birthday and over the years I have worked on musicals (Phantom, Joseph, Showboat, etc.) live performances, television shows and movies in various capacities. I even turned down a gig with the CBC to work on the stage for the Pope’s visit. Yes, THE Pope. (Many of you reading this have contributed to my paycheques, so let me say thank you). 

A ‘film person’ is extremely friendly and will accept a stranger immediately. They invite you to sit with them, join them for lunch, assist you if they think you need it and help you get acquainted with your new surroundings. It’s a ‘let’s be friends, then I’ll get to know you’ feeling. Trust is assumed until you do or say something to break that trust. If I meet someone who works in film, I have an immediate bond with that person. We are instantly friends, telling tales and laughing.

A ‘theatre person’ is the polar opposite. They have to get to know you before they decide if they like you and that could take months or years. They sit in cliques and you are NOT asked to join them. They would rather sit in silence and ignore you, rather than make small talk. You need to earn their respect and trust first. They will never offer to help you unless you ask for it. No ‘instant’ friendships or bonding with them. Very stand-offish and cold.

Shul people are like theatre people. With the exception of M, the only welcoming people have been Revi G and the RD – and it’s their JOB to be nice and inviting to everyone. Every week I feel like I’m crashing the party, sitting at a table I was not invited to sit at. I am a fish out of water, and everyone is watching me drown instead of offering me a life jacket.  They are the bystanders that won’t help, but will watch to see what happens or record the event on their cell phones.

I have wrongfully assumed that ‘religious’ or ‘shul-attending’ people act and behave a certain way. This image started with the Cantor (he put on quite the façade) and for some reason, I continued to think this way even though he proved me wrong. I am usually the last person to judge a book by its cover. I always take people at face value and try my best to get to know them. So why am I thinking this way now?

I fantasized about how people would be kind and inviting, and attending services would be uplifting and joyous. Very little house on the prairie. Sabbath is a celebration and a time to enjoy each other’s company and thank G-d for all we have. I feel like I’ve been duped. I do my best to talk to people, read from the siddur and enjoy the experience of being there, but I find it very difficult to be joyous or happy. 

I feel humiliated, stupid and embarrassed every week because I can’t read Hebrew or follow along, or understand what Revi G is talking about half the time. But when no one says hello, or talks to me, or just stares at me, it makes me feel even more unwelcome, isolated and alone. Everyone knows everyone there. I understand that it will take some time before people get to know me, but it's been 5 weeks! On the other hand, it’s a good thing that no one pays attention so when I start crying it goes unnoticed. Perhaps I should shul hop and go to services somewhere else for a change.

I will end my negative rant on a positive note with a quote from Dr. Seuss

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go."

               

...Baby steps..