Thursday 20 August 2015

It was easier to get tickets to Elton John

Well it’s that time of year again for the obligatory attendance at Shul for the high holy days. For most Jews, this is the only time of year that they are at services; others may also come for Kaddish, but for the most part, just these few days.

Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year’s celebration where apples and honey are a-plenty, we eat too much, and hear the shofar! With the addition of Yom Kippur; we fast, ask that our sins are forgiven, honor and remember those who have passed, clear up loans, perform extra mitzvot, and start anew with a clean slate. We are being judged, after all. More importantly, we get our hair, nails and makeup done, buy (at least) 2 new outfits with matching shoes, and make sure we look fabulous when we are `seen` at synagogue. After all, NO ONE wants to be in the same designer outfit (with matching hat?) that they wore to temple last year. Really!

It is almost as exciting as sitting at the Ritz Carlton during the Toronto International Film Festival waiting to see who will show up, and with whom. The who’s who of the Jewish community arrive in all their Chanel splendor; like peacocks with hats, pressed garments, botoxed forheads and shiny patented leather shoes, making sure that none of us common folk are sitting in their reserved seats. And much like an arts festival, there are billboards and media signs all over the place letting you know that tickets are ‘on sale now’ and to 'get yours early before it's sold out'. What is this? Cirque Du Soliel? I love religion; Mormons have portable leaflet stands, Evangelists have television and 1-800 numbers, and Jews have sandwich boards! Got an app for that too?
As a retired theatre technician, I know a bit about ticket selling and acquiring. No matter what, there are ALWAYS last-minute ticket deals and people who know people that can get you in. So imagine my ____________(insert appropriate word here; horror, chagrin, surprise, shock, disappointment, frustration, incomprehension, etc.) when I quickly found out the task that was before me; trying to get A (as in one, single, individual, only) ticket for myself for as close to free as I can get. Please remember I am in the process of completing my courses and now have to shell out $1600 to write an exam, so spending $200 to attend Shul is a lot of money to me right now. So with many phone calls, texts and favors asked, this is what I got;

Roadblock #1 – You have to be a member of the synagogue in order for you to get a ticket. No ‘outsiders’ allowed. Huh?
Roadblock #2 – Even though my father is on the board of directors, he cannot get you a ticket. Sorry. Okay..

Roadblock #3 – Only those who are attending services may volunteer as an usher because they are already here. No, you aren’t allowed to help out because you aren’t a member or have a ticket. What the what?

Roadblock #4 – Sure you can come to Chabad for free, but you will have to stand at the back of the room with everyone else. Sounds cozy.

Roadblock #5 – For $35, you can attend a lecture/seminar. It’s not a real service, but you are welcome to come. Alrighty then.
Can ANYONE feel my frustration? Anyone? Bueller?

My P in T asked me the other day if I ever had a problem, could I go to my Rabbi and talk to him about it? I said I didn't know, but I am always up for a challenge. So, with this in mind, I approached Revi G and asked if  he could recommend a synagogue that I could go to for services (aside from Chabad). Why? Because I am a poor, single student who is spending the last of her savings on an exam and cannot afford to pay. Humiliating enough? He said to leave it with him, and he would work on it and talk to a few people, then we will talk 'offline' about it. Ironically, I contacted him online to talk offline and he replied online to talk offline about what was said online. Got it? The end result is that he arranged for the Shul to allow me a ticket. I may have to sit with the livestock, clean the loos, work the coat check or wash his car, but I have a golden ticket and I'm off to the chocolate factory! THANK YOU, REVI G!!

So, am I telling you to harass your Rabbi for a comp? No. I am very fortunate that my Rabbi knows me, and that I am sincere, attend services on a regular basis, and that I actually want to be there. I also have to put up with his puns every week, but that is something else. Technically, I didn't ask him for a freebee, but that just happened to be the end result. He decided to do something nice for one of his congregants and did his big mitzvah before the holidays. Or, he just took pity on me, whatever works I suppose. I'm still honored and grateful.

People keep telling me that a Shul cannot turn you away, or try to negotiate with them and say what you can afford to pay. Well I am not willing to show up the day of and seeing what happens, nor am I going to beg and humiliate myself further - I've already asked for a 'student discount' on a membership, and was turned down. Look, I understand the concept of memberships and ticket sales - again, former theatre tech here, and that this is the time of year when synagogues make their money because people do not want to fork out the $1000+ to attend services a few times a year. But when a person calls up and says they want to be there, but needs a little help with the money situation, the Shul should be a little more accommodating - I did offer to usher as a barter. All I'm saying.

So with this hullabaloo behind me (I'll feel better with ticket in hand), I now need to press my dress, cut my hair, do my nails, match my shoes and wear the right accessories. Next year I will be able to purchase my ticket and buy that new outfit..with a matching hat, of course!

baby steps..

 

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