One of these things is NOT like the other

As I journey into the worm-holed vortex of Judaism, I am trying to understand why there are so many branches on the same tree. As far as my knowledge of Jewish sects (not sex, THAT is another blog altogether), I know of the following streams;

1. Reconstructionist - Jews hanging out, going for coffee
2. Humanistic - which is as close to Christianity as a Jew will get without stepping foot into a church.
3. Reform - which is like a loose version of Conservative, but with more guitars and music.
4. Conservative - the norm, average, can wear pants and do as we please.
5. Conservadox - little more strict with the kosher, skirts at Shul, few more rules observed.
6. Orthodox - Self explanatory.
7. Modern Orthodox - same as original, more technology and more tolerate of secular society.
8. Ultra Orthodox/Chassidic/Lubavitch - a.k.a. Black hats. Again, self explanatory. black n white, wigs, lots of kids.
9. Bobov - as close to God as you're gonna get. Super duper pooper religious.

And here I thought Christians were lifted and separated. But wait! There's more. Let me throw in a few extra buds on the branches, just for kicks; Sephardic, Ashkenazi, Dati, Hiloni, Satmar, Chabad, Litvish, Breslover, Frum...I could go on, but it's too much work and I can't be bothered. What is my point with all this? Good question. If Judaism is based on the concept of monotheism, accepts that all people are equal in God's eyes, no one is superior to another and we all have equal dignity, then why can't we all just get along? Never mind that, why the heck are there so many streams of Judaism? Even within the Orthodox movement, there are various levels and types of observances. There are so many levels within the levels, it makes the CN Tower look like a duplex.

It seems that Orthodox Jews (I'm corralling them all here for a point) don't see eye-to-eye with the non-Orthodox Jews (again, corralling) because they do not agree with the way they dress, follow the laws of kashrut or halachah, raise their children, or how often they go to synagogue. On the other hand, non-Orthodox Jews don't see eye-to-eye with Orthodox Jews because they do not agree with the way they dress, follow the laws of kashrut or halachah, raise their children, or how often they go to synagogue. If you don't live or conduct yourself the way I do, or I don't agree with your life choices, then your way is the wrong way and you cannot convince me otherwise or change my opinion. There is no happy middle ground when it comes to the different denominations (or lack, thereof) of Judaism. Why do we have to have a 'my way or the highway' attitude? This stubborn, ignorant style of linear thinking is for the birds and perhaps we need to agree to disagree instead of disregarding the other person. Or get a bird feeder.

As I trudge on with my Jewventures, I am looking forward to the upcoming days of awe and the yearly pity-vites from friends, family and whomever else feels sorry for me and my singleness by extending various dining offers in my direction. This I am used to. So I was quite stumped when I was disinvited to a Rosh Hashanah meal for 'not being religious enough' – yes, you read it correctly. Just for the record, I have been asked to leave several coffee shops, one or two restaurants, and quite a few parties and homes for overstaying my welcome and/or being too loud, but I have never had a dinner invitation rescinded. Because I am not orthodox, I am not permitted to dine with my P in T and her family on Shabbat or Yom Tov because I need to drive myself home so I can attend Shul the next morning for services. Despite the offer to stay the night I must still break a rule and drive. I'm okay with this, but they are not as they follow the laws of halachah more strictly than I do. It seems that the sin of driving on Yontif or Shabbat supersedes the mitzvah of going to Shul – ‘splain that one to me, Lucy!

The only way for me to wrap my noodle around this is to conclude that although she may 'understand' my lifestyle and conservative ways (oh, the horror) she does not, and perhaps will not accept it. Am I mad? No. Little insulted, not surprised, should have known better, wish people were more flexible, but that's the way the matzo crumbles. In most conservative synagogues, the Rabbis are okay with a person driving on the Sabbath, as long as they are going to shul -  as they would rather you break a commandment than not show up to pray. This is one of those situations where it would have been best to not have extended the invitation in the first place. That's okay, I've had 2 more supper invitations for that night, so all is well in the land of brisket.

On the flip-side to this charming anecdote, a friend of mine was referred to as being "too Jewish" by her brother-in-law. Considering that she is not orthodox, does NOT keep a kosher home or attends shul on any kind of semi-regular basis, I am dumbfounded as to why she was given the honor of this title. How can someone who is married to a Jewish woman (he is not) and have a Jewish child make such a comment? It doesn't even matter what the reasoning behind it is, because the words outweigh the meaning; ironically, by his same standards, I must be half a step away from an arranged marriage and doing a half-pike swan dive into the nearest mikvah - NO SPLASH!

"The important thing is not how many separate commandments we obey, but the spirit in which we obey them" - Baal Shem Tov

baby steps...