I have come to the realization that I am a full-time Therapist and part-time Optician. Did I go to college, study psychology and earn a diploma or degree? Nope. Just part of the job, which (by the way) was NOT in my contract. I may never understand what it is about me that makes (most) people pour out their heart and souls, tell me their life stories and kvetch about their problems. I am used to strangers and customers telling me about their travels, love lives, family matters, politically incorrect racist remarks and infrequent bowel movements (not kidding on that one). I just want to know if you want the glasses? It's these kind of moments that make me laugh to myself when I think about the Cantor who said that he felt he could not talk to me. Things that make you say hmmmmm.
This week I have listened to a racist, empathized with a friend who is divorcing her husband, sympathized with a woman who checked herself into a mental hospital, and helped a senior who needed someone to care about her. The funny thing is, I don't really know these people that well; they are acquaintances, customers and strangers and they consider me a good enough friend and/or confidant to share with me. I really should start charging - hey, even Lucy made a few coins, why can't I? Whatever 'it' is, people find some kind of comfort with me - and just spill their beans.
Perhaps it's easier to talk to someone we don't really know that well, opposed to a family member or long-time friend? Maybe the fear of shame or embarrassment of telling someone you know is too much to handle? I know that there are things I cannot share with certain people, and with others I have verbal diarrhea. That's just me. Sometimes I just have a one-way convo with G-d, usually when I'm in my car. Our little chit chats. Doesn't everyone speak to Him? Sometimes I just clear my mind or vent, sometimes I question things, sometimes I ask for things, sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't. I find it easier to speak to Him than to find the courage to speak to a friend; and unlike speaking to a friend, G-d may not always give us the answers we want to hear or present them in a way that we like. Typical.
We are supposed to talk to G-d every day with prayer; we acknowledge His presence and influence, we pray at meal time, we speak of the miracles that He performed, and we "Baruch HaShem" left, right and center. But how often does your average Joseph actually talk, not kvetch, to Him?
Before my exams I would ask G-d to "help me used the brain He gave me," or asked to "please keep me calm" as I would pace the hall - apparently, freaking out for a full week (at least) before is a 'family trait', lucky me. I always, and I mean ALWAYS said "thank you" when it was over and again when I received the results. I wasn't asking for A's (although they are nice to see), I was asking to help me do my best with the tools that He lent me - this body is a loner, after all.
My friend Dee Dee says she questions herself as to whether or not she is using the gifts that G-d gave her to her full potential (whatever they may be) and whether she is really listening when He 'talks'. I said as long as we acknowledge whether we are or not using them well is the first step. My communications teacher said that we all need to practice 'effective listening' to show others that we are giving them our full attention to what they are saying to us and that we are genuinely interested in what they have to say. So whether I'm sitting with a friend, retired marine, restless housewife, or new customer, I need to use my gift of putting people at ease to my full potential and effectively listening to what they have to say. Or tune them out and hope the phone rings. 8)
baby steps...
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